‘Between Men’
a men’s group project in Brussels
Personal growth for men who want more depth
Do you want to understand yourself better as a man?
Are you wanting to grow as a man to express yourself better and increase the quality of the relationships in your life?
Are you willing to explore what it means for you to be a man and increase your
self-awareness?
Or maybe you recognize yourself in some of the statements below?
You sometimes feel you hit a wall when you want to ask for support from your male friends?
You have a hard time imagining how to get more personal and connect among men?
You miss a place where you can land when you’re confused or feel bad?
You feel isolated at times?
You’re curious and willing to explore other ways to be with men?
The philosophy of ‘Between Men’ in short:
Being a man in the world has an impact on who you are as a person. This impact comes from biology and from society. Being a man offers you privilege and benefits and also limits and restrains you. Learning about both sides of this coin can increase your self-awareness and happens most effectively together with other men.
As men we need each other for our growth and learning. That’s why all our events happen in group and are designed with the intention to support men to explore what it means for them to be a man. We try to understand how being a man has an impact on you as a person, on your relationships and on your way of being in the world. This understanding helps to gradually enlarge the box that masculinity tends to put men in and develop your own version of masculinity.
As a consequence men feel more at ease, more free, more themselves and less lonely (watch here).
What do we mean with the ‘box of masculinity’?
Many men go through their day to day with limiting definitions of what it means to be a man. Men are often more constrained by these definitions than they might realize. Through messages coming from various experiences in their lives, men put themselves in a box that is too small for them. They end up chopping off important parts of themselves in order to conform to expectations that they receive from and perceive in their environments. This male box defines and limits how men relate to themselves, to others and to the world. This box doesn’t fit all of what a man is or can be. As a result men keep some parts of themselves hidden and don’t fully bring themselves into the world. This gets in the way of expressing, connecting and belonging.
This struggle is present in different ways, but certainly in how men relate to each other. As a result finding support and deeper connection among men is challenging or simply feels unavailable.
Enlarging this box and bringing ourselves out into the world more fully is more effective when we do it together with other men. Being present and open with other men allows us to see how we are similar to each other, which creates connections, and allows us to be seen in our difference, which supports our uniqueness. It is this combination of connecting and expressing our difference that makes us grow out of the box, into a fuller, healthier and more resourced male self. Your own version of masculinity.
Between Men is a Brussels based project that offers men’s events where men get a chance to explore masculinity together with other men. Between Men organizes men’s groups, workshops, events, retreats where men get an opportunity to connect, share, move, be, play, confront, learn, support, grow together.
Men meet in a structured and facilitated environment to talk, share, explore themes and topics that speak to men. In diades, small groups and in the larger group, sharing and exchanging happens with the intention to grow and learn from each other.
Check the schedule on our events page and/or subscribe to the email list to learn about upcoming events.
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If you want to get a sense of our communication, read our previous emails on our archive page by clicking on the button below:
Good to know before you come
Participation
- Between Men is designed for cis men from the age of 18 onwards.
Why do we make the choice for this ‘cis men affinity group’?- In a world where roles and power dynamics between all types of genders are changing, where minorities are challenging majorities and are finding a more righteous place in society, we believe there’s a need for cis men to learn and grow together. Cis men have historically enjoyed a lot of privilege and power in society, and still do. However, times are changing and are asking cis men to be more flexible in the positions they take up in society.
- A ‘cis men affinity group’ is by no means meant to return to what has been or to reclaim some of what is changing (read more below about what Between Men is not).
On the contrary, Between Men wholeheartedly supports the changing times and the increase of diversity in self-expression, identity, privilege and power distribution. The intention of the focus on cis men is to offer a space where cis men can learn and grow together to find more comfort and ease in that changing world we’re in.
- Regarding language:
- Between Men wants to be a place where the language diversity of a city like Brussels can be represented. For that reason all communication for the Between Men events will happen in English. We choose to communicate and work in a language that for almost all of us will not be our mother tongue, because that equalizes effort as much as possible. Inevitably this will also exclude some people.
- English is the spoken language during the events and all facilitators will speak English when addressing the group. This doesn’t mean we can’t be creative at times and participants are free to speak their own language if they feel the need.
Content of the meetings
- Through conversations, experience, sharing, listening and feeling you’ll get a chance to increase your self-awareness about yourself as a man. All of what we’ll do in the group meetings can be understood as ‘exploring our masculinity, deepening our understanding of who we are as a man and growing our compassion for the man we find ourselves to be’.
- Most of the meetings will be structured according to a certain theme or topic, like ‘being a man’, ‘vulnerability’, ‘male friendship’, ‘conflict and anger’, to name a few.
- All of the meetings will be facilitated by a professional facilitator with or without the help of a colleague. You can read all about me and my credentials here.
What ‘Between Men’ is NOT
- Between Men’ is not a place where we’ll indulge in a rebuilding of patriarchy, in reclaiming our ‘men’s rights’ or in ‘making our gender great again’.
Although Between Men isn’t in any way affiliated with woke activism, it is certainly not a place where we’ll complain about, mock or ridicule woke thinking. Nor is it a place where men can gather to join in their need to express anger and/or hatred towards women.
- ‘Between Men’ is designed for cis men, but by no means will we engage in a reinforcement of a rigid gender binary: we believe there are many expressions of gender and many ways to be male.
- Although some of the experiences you’ll have with ‘Between Men’ might offer insight and deeper understanding of who you are, these groups are not a substitute for psychotherapy or mental health care.
If you are in need of mental health support please contact a mental health provider. See the links on the bottom of this page.
What men say about previous events
I have appreciated the way Thomas and his colleagues have facilitated the weekly gatherings with enough structure to focus the conversations and activities, but with enough openness to respond to wherever the energy goes. Well done!
– Peter –
“’Between Men’ provides a forum to talk about what it means to be a man. I find that each week I leave with a deeper understanding of my own complicated and often contradictory definition of masculinity, as well as an awareness of areas in which I’d like to continue to grow”.
– Stefan –
Or watch a short video where some of the men talk about their experience of a men’s work project I lead in Portland, Oregon.
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Local mental health providers: